Memories By Racheal Sokari

memories, how we all hopelessly cling unto memories, the memory of our first kiss, the memory of the first time your eyes met hers, the first words that were spoken, during times of dismay we desperately try our best to cling unto these ever peace bringing memories, but what happens when you’ve run out of memories to savor? when you can’t think of anything to ever bring you joy? when you’re constantly wondering how one could end up so miserable and hollow, the loneliness of life gets unbearable as the day passes, having to pretend constantly is more draining than the sadness itself, what memories would i cling to? i have possibly relished every pleasant memory there was because half of life has been filled with distress and this dreadful foreboding that has refused to let me be, i find myself being afraid to enjoy moments, it’s like a heavy anchor hanging down my throat, there’s a feeling i can never seem to shake off, the feeling of misery, the feeling of incompleteness, the feeling of emptiness, i have searched and i’m still searching for something or someone to fill this deep hole that has plagued my entire existence, to bring peace amidst the mayhem, to reassure me amidst the insecurity, the warmth of my lover cradling me and reminding me that i am loved and i deserve to be here, i will forever go searching for what i don’t know, only the universe knows what i long for and maybe it has refused to give me because everything is just so futile and meaningless.